This morning something happened which made me very sad. It was strange sensation. It made me realize I haven't felt truly sad in a long time. I paced around the apartment, not knowing what to do with myself. An immense fatigue took ahold of my spirit, I lay down in bed and despite having a reasonably good night sleep and a large cup of espresso coffee, almost immediately I slipped into a profound slumber.
I dreamed that I was in my house in Puebla. A dog came running from the backyard to greet me. She looked so much like Nina! But she was young and very vigorous, moving not only her tail but her hips from the emotion of greeting me. I crouched and scratched her all over, saying "ay el perro loco! ay el perro loco!" as I used to do with Nina. The dog licked my face and whimpered with emotion. I was ecstatic.
Tears are streaming down my face at this moment. In the dream I did not recognize her as Nina, but as someone else's dog who looked a lot like Nina. In this waking state I understand this was because Nina no longer belongs to me, she belongs to our creator, and her spirit had come to give me consolation and relief.
This is not objectively true, but is is subjectively true. That is, inside of each of us exists a world which is just as real as consensus reality. This is our spiritual garden, and if we pretend it does not exist it will become barren. We must prune the trees, water the plants and compost the waste, but the sun always shines in our inner garden.
When I woke up two hours later I was in a different emotional state. Then, something happened in the objective world which resolved the cause of my sadness. I would not accepted the solution if I still had been distressed, because we tend to fester our wounds, for a reason I don't yet understand.
I am at peace now.