I come home to find my home without electricity, in complete darkness. Fortunately I find some candles.
I took a picture of my current setting, but it looks miserable. A picture would make no justice anyways. It's simply a forced moment of relaxation.
What can I do to relax myself? I now have two candles, one on each side of the bed. It could be improved with:
For 1, crickets are singing rythmically:
For 2, I would really like to begin writing, I'll give it to myself when I need a break.
For 3, let me get up and put some incense.
It is done.
The purpose of this session is to accomplish relaxation while doing creative writing. If you are following along, lay in bed with numerous pillows, and find a posture which would allow you to both relax and remain alert. Our physiognomies are very varied but in general terms: find a position in which you would be able to remain for a long time, and then settle down into it.
Let us gently come into a state of rest, and then begin dumping consciousness as it comes. I will begin in ten minutes.
The mind warned: do not write work logs in an altered states of mind! For in the quest for relaxation some weed was smoked.
But aren't rules made to be broken? It's early and if it's not writing this experience then it will tossing in bed.
So today is an exception to the rule, but it is pleasure consciousness dumping.
Is it pleasant to be alive? I mean, feel yourself. Is there more pleasure or there's more suffering? It is often the case that there's suffering without a biological cause. You suffer, yet you are healthy. It's like the background noise of existence caused stress, alienation, defensiveness, bubbling up.
The deeper you go into meditation, the more you realise that the suffering is self-inflicted. Once known from personal experience, the correct answer is silence.
Can we become more silent?
By giving that chattering mind a seat, sit down, relax, there's nothing to defend at this time. Nothing has been stated.
Think "I'm not in my skull, I'm in my entire being". and feel the entire body. Oh, there's pain, but there's nobody to relieve us from it! Should we try by the power of attention?
I observe energy running through my body, it feels kinda cool, the entire body is alive. What a nice place to be: in bed, without electricty, writing down my thoughts and yada yada, let us come back to experience.
Is there still pain? Nah, not now, but there used to be pain! It is horrible, that existential pain, just being alive hurts. I used to look out the window of every flight and think "Oh god if you want to take me out right now, I wouldn't mind". Not suicidial but let's say "not attached to life".
How does one heal from a damaged existential wound? It is the most difficult thing to do, but the healing process, if done correctly, will take you down the mother of all rabbit holes, and inside the rabbit hole imagine thousands of rabbit holes, jump into a couple of them as your curiosity finds them.
Coming back to relaxation. I'm now debating the wisdom of smoking another joint, it's 10:10 exactly, surely means "yes" in binary or something. I'll be back. Oh, the tea, now is the moment!
The tea pot was occupied by the coffee of the morning and I didn't venture to wash in darkness. It'll be fine without tea.
I come to write on my side. I will try a different kind of writing. Let us make up a story. A story about what? About something that happened today.
Come back to today, what is the most salient fact? I found the perfect place to work, it's a... I will share it in time. What I liked most about it was that it's next's to an arts center where I could study at my own leisure.
This is the ego talking, existence happens through action. What did I do today? Oh yes, I shall describe:
As I've been exploring the areas surrounding the house I think it's absolutely the best place to make a halloween party. My friends used to nickname this house The Blair Witch house, because it's always been overgrown and quite unkempt. But it has it's charm. So I thought a good idea would be to make a Día de Muertos party, but to make it truly special I would need help from some people.
True, this task I shall do right now: plead help from my cousins.
Queridos primos, les escribo porque voy a organizar una fiesta para niños en la Casa del Río con ocasión de día de los muertos. Mi mamá reunió muchos huevos rellenos de harina y los quería aprovechar, una cosa llevó a otra y se nos fue de las manos. Pero creo que hay mucho potencial y podemos hacer cosas muy padres si apuntan a participar.
La idea es tener un recorrido por el bosque de atrás, ya lo he explorado y lo pueden hacer niños y adultos sin problemas. Está lleno de árboles y maleza pero limpiaré bastante. Aquí se pueden hacer muchísimas cosas, dependiendo de la cantidad de gente dispuesta a participar.
Versión sencilla y fácil: una batalla campal de huevos de harina y luego comida.
Versión con tu ayuda: lo anterior + concurso de disfraces, piñata, premios, fogata, taller de arte, lounge de adultos, etc. lo que se te ocurra. Puedes ser un hombre lobo suelto en el bosque de atrás, escucho cualquier idea y sugerencia de participación.
La cita sería el sábado 26 de octubre.
Dime si te late participar, y cómo te gustaría hacerlo.
Finished 12:11, time to blow out the candles.