If autism is a spectrum, then I am in a "glass half full" situation. Either I am a socially gifted autistic person or I am a socially inept normal person. But, the more I live, the more I prove to myself that it is possible to change, at least some attributes.

I must write a couple of words on the dangerous situation of "wanting to change your personality". Like the fat person who hits the gym to lose fat and gain strength, the person who dislikes something about his own personality seeks to eliminate undesirable traits and acquire new desirable ones.

But this is a mistake. Personality is different from a physical trait. If you want to acquire more pro-social behaviour, you don't need to get rid of your sweet solitude. One could speak of pro-social and pro-solitude behaviour. You want to be at ease in both situations. There is nothing to get rid of, instead you want to stretch your capacity to handle both situations.

My social "range of motion" is incredibly limited. I have started with the gentlest stretch: I've began to be more present when I greet, when I say thank you, when I say farewell. I look in the eye and smile and say "good morning" to the receptionist at the gym. She responds to my presence with a smile and a nod, whereas before I would mutter a hurried good morning and get the same indifference in return.

The social world gives you back the energy you put into it.


I've more or less given up on weight lifting. I still go to the gym, but I no longer move large volumes of weight. Instead, I go light and slow, squeezing as much effort as I can with the least amount of weight possible.

This is counter-intuitive to the lift-by-numbers culture that we've grown into. It's all upside down: we calculate cardiovascular fitness and strength by numbers (reps, weight, speed, etc), but the number is always a proxy for something more fundamental. I am learning to train the actual thing rather than trying to increase the number.

This is like gauging your fitness from the mirror instead of the scale.