The day before yesterday I told my sister that I was having a lot of trouble getting anything done at all. My life has devolutioned into my functional pattern of depression, which is to spend most of my time exercising. I have a thousand things to do, my days see a lot of activity, but nothing gets done.
My sister told me about the wonders Ritalin has done for her attention deficit disorder. I asked for her prescription so that I could modify it under my name so that I could (illegally) obtain Ritalin, which I did yesterday.
It took me a monumental effort to get the medication because of my emotional state. Just loading up the prescription scan in figma was a drag, then I took the file to a print shop which turned out to be closed. I went to a different print shop only to notice the file wasn't in my email, which made me notice my domain had expired three days ago, so I went back home to renew my domain and resend the file.
I finally printed the modified prescription at the print shop, and when I was going to cut the white edges, I noticed that the paper cutter that I brought didn't have any blades, I had to go to a paper shop to buy blades.
Throughout these hitches I was feeling pangs of "just give up, go back home, smoke some weed and forget about everything", but I persisted, knowing that this voice would drown out as soon as I got my medication. In some contexts listening to this voice would have been the right thing to do, but this was the time to ignore it.
It is too early to describe the effects of this medication, but if this log is any indication, I will become more diligent and boring, because that's the spirit of this text: it lacks drama but it is what I'm supposed to do.