Two days ago I hurt my back again simply sitting down on the bed after a shower. I hurt it the first time a week ago doing deadlifts at the gym in Toronto. Though both injuries felt exactly the same in the beginning, this time around recovery is going slow (after a day in the spa and plenty of rest I feel the same as the first day).

I sense a spiritual reason for these injuries. A more accurate statement would be "the body is willing to accompany the spirit on a journey". My back broke because my spirit is in pupation. In this stage, the bike rides, the yoga and dancing sessions are distractions for inner transformation.

I've tried writing something about such "inner transformation" but... how can I pretend what I know what is going to happen? I do not choose what I pupate into. I don't know if I will become an ugly moth or a beautiful butterfly, I can only trust that whatever transformation happens is preparation for the new chapter, both physically and spiritually.

My most intimate thoughts and feelings are not meant to be worked out in public, that's why I'm having so much trouble articulating anything other than "I'm breaking apart, it's part of the plan, I will emerge transformed in a couple of days or weeks", so I will leave it at that.

My next action will be to hobble to a bench and contemplate the ocean for a couple of hours.