On Friday I caved in and bought some weed. I had barely slept in the previous days, and I needed it to get my sleep cycle in check. That's how I explained it to myself, as usual the first day was great followed by an inability to control myself and it bled into the rest of the weekend. On the first day I smoked, I thought "it's nice to feel this (high) version of myself contained within my sober life, rather than feeling soberness from perpetual haze. I indulged this weekend, I acknowledge and move forward.
Axioms and intuitions will have to wait. I want to do it with clarity of mind. I'm also apartment hunting for July 1st and in quite a rush! Good prospects fortunately. Next weekend will be dedicated to moving (if I even have an apartment by then!). I fear it's procrastination but it's also a deep dive, doing this close to a move is not wise.
Next post from new dwelling, God willing.