There are many things which I ought to write about, and so little time. I promised my family in Mexico I would present them with a project to renovate our family house. My father generously had promised to earmark significant money for this, but when a project delivery went wrong he was forced to use the money to cover for his expenses.
My father is a superbly developed person to whom I am largely disconnected. I know he is like me, and that I come from him. He is intensely interested in his business and craft at his 76 years of age. My idea of giving him love is not giving him problems or distractions: he is most present when he is working.
My way of connecting with him was through work. In the COVID gap years I went to work with him at his home office perhaps two weeks, then I'd have lunch with his family (my parents are divorced). I have fond memories of that, his concentration and focus is contagious and entices to deep work.
Besides being a successful and honest engineering entrepreneur, he has a long list of spiritual "certifications" which he would never brag about or even speak about it unprompted, but it's unnecessary, it's palpable in his presence that he vibes differently, and I'm very fortunate to have him as a father.
There are of course the developmental problems that come with having such a work oriented father, and John (my grandfather) was the same. I know that if I have children I will bond with them, this is a generational trauma that leaves us connected work and less to other people. My father discovered this when I was 18 years old and he started hugging us more, deep personal hugs. But it made me feel uncomfortable and I said "It's kinda late for this dad", and from then on he stopped hugging me like that, a decision I quickly came to regret, but never corrected.
I was going to write about the house but I got sidetracked with dad: it doesn't matter, this is part of the design, the creator who engages with a deeply personal project as his own childhood home has to deal with the parental issues involved, and my relationship with my family must be taken into account. It is not "my" house, but my family's house, and it will largely align our quirky values and needs with a practical and economical design.
As a stakeholder my father has his own house and is not an owner, it was left to us (my mother, my sister and my brother) as part of the divorce proceedings plus alimony, which my father has never failed to pay. He has a special fondness for this house, which I share, because it's a beautiful piece of modernist design ruined by neglect and a poorly executed renovation.
Because of his nature, I expect our father to be pretty hands off with the project but will be glad if we execute on something that makes best use of his generosity. Budgets are often flexible and presenting something that makes sense is important. This project must have "starting tiers" that can be built upon, as stages of a larger project, instead of trying to do everything in one go. Some day I hope to cash out on stock options and continue, if I'm ever lucky enough to win a lottery that has not been drawn yet. I can count that investing in my home is good investment.
Enough. I need to collect the photos I have my house. I'll post them in the next entry.