Walked: 0 Km

I want to write less, yet express more, so today I captured the little moments where I experienced things. This is an experiment which I intend to keep on repeating as I understand more about the format (and what/how things can be expressed through sharing the outward experience).

I woke up still doubting if I would stay another day at Montserrat. Being accesible early in the morning, I decided to visit Montserrat's Morenata, the venerated statue of the virgin Mary with Jesus as an infant on her lap. It caused no impression.

Behind the statue there was a window, I wondered where it lead: just around the corner there was an entrance to a stunning chapel where you could see the back of her head at the main altar. I sat down to meditate. Places with spiritual energy need no preparatory relaxation, deep meditative states are reached immediately.

After the meditation I went back to see her, and I saw a different statue, yet it was her. Her expression more compassionate, and I hadn't noticed she was carrying a globe, and Jesus was carrying a pinecone. I understood the globe as creation, and the pinecone as the principles that allow creation to come into being.

It was before her that Saint Ignatius of Loyola laid down his arms in consecrating his life to God. I read that, at the time of his conversion, he'd dream both of divine things and earthly adventures with the person whom he was in love. The earthly dreams would leave him in a state of dissatisfaction, while the divine one would give him a lasting sense of solace and serenity.

I'm experiencing a lot of hesitation. For example, yesterday I mis-read there was a donation dinner with other pilgrims, but I was quite embarrassed to ask about "the free dinner" at the front desk. Plus, I was still dressed in business attire and I didn't have time to change. I'd walk into the dinner and people would think I was a business shark seeking a free meal (at least until I had enough time to explain my situation).

I was willing to forgo the meal, but then thought: all this mental narrative is just ridiculous, I'll go in and ask about the dinner. I said "Excuse me, I read somewhere that there's a pilgrim's dinner...", and the front desk guy took me to the restaurant where he called out the captain to let him know I was a pilgrim.

They sat me down with a charming retired French woman, though we didn't have any language in common. This forced us to get creative to make small talk. I looked through my wallet and showed her a 50 peso bill from Mexico and she pretended to be amazed. I went through the few French words I knew and pointed at them, and she applauded. When time for dessert came, they gave us an apple, while the rest of the tables had delicious looking desserts. We shared the disappointment like mimes. It might have been less fun should we able to communicate though verbal language.

By the way, the dinner wasn't free, it only had a discount. There was no common "pilgrim's table", they asked us if we wanted to sit together since we would have been alone otherwise, and we both said yes. Mental narratives sometimes way off reality.