In this prison-like existence that I have set up for myself, I have come to appreciate very small or inconsequential things which I would have not appreciated before. In darkness there is lightness, and today I shall write about the lightness I have experienced.
The sensation of falling asleep is sublime. The other day I laid down for a quick nap. Somehow awareness was still present while the mind lost the grip on the body, and my tensed muscles relaxed in unison. I dreamed of the face of my mother who was speaking kind words to me. It was oniric balm for the soul.
On the day of my birthday I faced a behavioral crisis by my grandmother. I didn't let her know it was my birthday until she ceased being hostile, which was during the evening. She was effusive with me and apologetic about missing it, but soon went on speaking about her worries, which are plenty. After I put her in bed at night I turned off the light. "Thank you" she said, "and happy birthday". My heart leapt with joy. It was the most unexpected thing to say given her state of mind.
There is a woman who works at the grocery store for whom I have developed a sort of aesthetic crush. She possesses an understated natural beauty, with curves on a slender frame which shows through her modest uniform. Her eyes are dark and dazzling. I'd venture to say she is from middle eastern ancestry, and the mask this gives her an air of Scheherazade. The appreciation of beauty uplifts the spirit, and though she is far from being the most beautiful woman in the world, she is the most beautiful woman in my world.