Over the last few days I've reminded Christine I'll be going back to Mexico. She must choose between having me replaced or going into a nursing home. "You can leave whenever you want", she answers defiantly. "No, I must leave you in a good place, I can't leave tomorrow", I answer. But starting today I decided to answer differently: "Indeed, I will leave when I want, but today I want to be here".

I have understood I've become as proficient with patience as I can be. It is time to learn something else. Life seems to be asking me to level up at handling conflict, at pushing back without hurting, at not allowing anybody to stomp over my turf. Patience is a great ally in this task, because you must not lose your temper.

Perhaps it is boredom, I'm bored of being patient. There is nothing new here. My days are on repeat. I've learned to tolerate Christine. It is no longer interesting. It is time to change the tide, to gain insight, to learn, to update my psychological toolbox. This will make things interesting again. I'm not interested in pain or pleasure anymore.

Instead of dreading the time when she wakes up, I've decided to go to tell her it's time to wake up.