After a multi-year hiatus from social media, I've opened an Instagram account in which I write in Spanish. My followers mostly consist of people who know me in person: friends, family, ex-colleagues, acquaintances and such.

I've always disliked that the people who know me also read me. It makes me feel self-conscious, it would be easier for most shy people to sing in front of stranger rather than people who know them, and people with whom they have to interact later.

I mostly write about spiritual stuff, or how day-to-day experience relates to my spirituality. It's personal and yet I know I'm expressing a persona rather than putting my true self forward (but I would argue: how do you put your true self forward? It is not possible).

It is kinda addictive to post on Instagram. You start receiving likes almost immediately. When I write on my blogs, I have no idea who read me, but I like this aspect of writing too, I feel like I'm speaking to myself in an empty room, I can ramble all I want, I make no effort in editing my thoughts. On Instagram I do, I curate my presence, here I write my stream of thought.

Is this the true self if I'm simply writing what comes to mind? The other day I was listening to Sam Harris on the Huberman Podcast. Huberman has a friend who trains himself one hour per day to think in full sentences, because our thought is so fragmented it's almost gibberish. I thought "I do the same thing when I write on my blog, because I barely edit anything, and sometimes it even comes out nice".

I've been weed free for a week now, and I'm bored to tears. I notice the reason I smoke is to be OK with my boredom. To travel in my imagination. My current reality is quite nice: I've been living with friends in Cancún for about three months. They are saints for having me over for so long. But I'm poor, my options for distraction are limited: I go to yoga, to the gym, and sometimes to the beach. Then I come back home, I smoke a joint, I go to bed early, I lose myself in body sensations, and doze off to sleep.

But I do welcome the sensation of boredom. Right now I had almost nothing to do (I say almost nothing, because I could have put my bedroom in order, or do a couple of minor chores), so I sat down, opened, and begun typing away.

My friends left today for Mexico City, they are going to a concert. I'm alone with the dogs. The dogs are old, and require attention and medication. I don't have enough time to go to the beach. I'll walk them in a while, then give them dinner and their medication. Then I guess I'll hand around, doing nothing.

Perhaps I'll open Sublime Text and program something for fun. That would be nice, for a change. The time to walk the dogs is approaching, I'll publish this and then go on with my tasks.