At every end-of-the-year I inevitably start thinking about what I would like to accomplish the next, but the big problem I have is that anything I propose to myself often comes as an unproductive struggle. I've worked around this through visualizations about the future, this year I will simply acknowledge every single thing that is crossing my mind by writing it down without an actual commitment to doing it.
Many times I will find myself at home alone and bored, not knowing what to do, so I will come back to this list and choose something to advance on. I don't want there to be an attachment to "accomplishing", I find myself strangely content with the place I am right now, shortcomings included.
I will write this at different times in my work day.
I wish to re-engage with intellectual pursuits. In the past I used to borrow books from the library, perusing the bookshelves until something caught my eye. I like this non-directed way of following my curiosity, it's difficult for us to know what we don't know and browsing without an agenda tends to open new avenues of intellectual exploration instead of reinforcing what we already know.
Actionable task: go to the library and borrow two books, one for the bathroom and one for my backpack (so I read in the subway).
Sacrifice: we need to let go of the old to make space for the new. In this case it's easy, block reddit and cancel my subscription to the nytimes. Neither has provided enough value to justify the attention spent on them.
Why: when I don't have intellectual pursuits my intellect tends to ruminate introvertedly. I've done enough of that, I want something external to me to ruminate on.
I wish to learn partner dancing (salsa/bachata/kizomba). I've been thinking about this for about two years now, attending a random class here are there, but it doesn't stick. I find it more enjoyable to dance alone at this time, but I know partner dancing is a long term investment that will eventually be more enjoyable than solo dancing.
Actionable task: I already have dancing lessons bought and ocasionally attend terk and reggaeton lessons, I just have to use them for parter classes.
Sacrifice: the gym and weed after work. Both are forms of self-medication for loneliness and foul mood. Partner dancing would be better self-medication.
Why: oh man when I watch people at salsa socials I admire beautiful people who mesmerize me with their movements. I feel low hanging fruit here, I've done tons of body work in the last few years and would love make use of my body in different ways.
I wish to at least give tantra a try. I find the outmost resistance to all forms of bullshit and this surely has a lot, but there's also many things which I know I can take from it. It reminds me a lot about my prejudices against yoga, and many hyper-rational friends have expressed the same to me: I know it's good for me, but I want to do away with all the spiritual bullshit. What would a twenty-something yoga teacher know about life to tell me how to live it? And yet, when I'm in class and the teachers spurts out spiritual bullshit, I don't fight it. There's an offering of wisdom, take what you want and leave what you don't at the table. There's no need to fight against it.
Sacrifice: unwillingness to commit. Usually these are groups who go through a guided exploration together, you gain comfort as you connect with the group.
Why: 2025 was a celibate year and I find my sexual expression smothered through porn. When I let the fire build up I feel myself going crazy without any venue to express it, unwilling to commit myself to a romantic relationship I find myself fantasizing about getting involved with prostitutes yet knowing this to be unhealthy expression of sexuality.
I wish to leverage the power of AI more effectively. I see a schism taking place, similar to what happened when people first started using personal computers, where suddenly a single person could do the job of a team. Where publishing a magazine would require tons of staff, a single person with a Mac could publish their own fanzine and publish it at home. Some thing with the internet, in the mid nineties I remember signing up for a forum and "publishing" something and it blew my mind: wow I'm communicating something to the entire world and anybody can read it. In the same way, most people are using AI crudely, as they used to use a search engine, but I see my co-workers leveraging their knowledge to perform the work of teams. I use AI in a way that is a bit more sophisticated than the layperson, but I'm definitely behind the curve. The true power comes when you top thinking about prompting and allow AI to work on entire codebases. The other day, for example, I was asked to upload a flag of a particular country to our CDN in SVG. I thought: this is gruntwork, what do I need to upload every single flag so that it's already done? I downloaded the Twemoji repo, prompted in Cursor to get the flag range and change the file name to the country code, process everything through SVOMG, and then I uploaded everything to Cloudflare. It took less than an hour. About a week later a co-worker said to me: I need the flag of Singapore uploaded. I said: it's already done, I showed him the path and boom, right there. We must not be afraid of making our jobs redundant. Gruntwork is the enemy of creative work. Anything that a robot can do should be done by a robot. Gruntwork is dehumanizing, yet we cling to our jobs. Make yourself redundant, there will always be more work for you.
But also take care of not delegating your creative work. I would never delegate this very entry to AI, there is much to be written about this, but I will leave things unsaid. Delegate gruntwork, not soulwork.
Sacrifice: Control. We must delegate judiciously.
Why: we are at a before/after moment of humanity. We have been trained as robots to perform tasks, and we are attached to our tasks, this robs us of our humanity. God bless AI for it will free us from being cogs in the machine, but we must also notice the big picture: we will consume the entire world at a faster rate if we don't redesign the machine soon. Let us do more with less, and an age of abundance will follow. Yet, I'm afraid our thirst for more will never end, we must learn to be satisfied with what we have, we often struggle out of our expectations about what life should be, and we rarely appreciate the vast gap between the lifestyle people a couple of generations had and our own.
I wish to perform a press to handstand. I wrote this five years ago as a future projection:
This year my material world skills leveled up. The path took me through the discovery of the body. Yoga, rythm, flexibility, strength, balance all increased this year. I am able to perform a press handstand. I also trained my hands with real world wood work projects.
Yet, in my ignorance little did I know all the pre-requisites needed to perform such a feat. Five years later, I've advanced enough to see it within reach for the year. If I dedicated myself to it fully, I'd probably get it within a month. I don't understand very well why I'm so keen on this, it's not like a goal in itself, but a manifestation of various pieces of a bodywork puzzle that are coming into place: breathing, strength, balance, coordination, focus. The body has been a tremendous source of learning in the past few years, yet I feel I've written so little about it. The body has a language that is not expressed in words, there's almost no point in writing about the body, it's easier to dance about it. Yet I find myself utterly unwilling to share my body in the same way I share my thoughts. Perhaps I ought to reconsider this too.
Sacrifice: a bit of yoga. It's a bit ironic that this is holding me back, but there's only a limited amount of time, and if I use this time to repeat the same sequences that don't have handstand movements, I'm not making the most out of my time. I need deliberate practice rather than waiting for it to happen effortlessly. I'm really appreciative to the fact that yoga has taken me to the doorstep of press to handstand, but it is necessary for me to deliberately walk through the door.
Why: I truly don't understand why I want to do this. Probably because I wrote about it five years ago and I find myself close enough to actually do it. It will give me satisfaction.
I wish to default to affection. A co-worker who is leaving for Punta Cana just fist-bumped me to say goodbye. Then he approached another co-worker, who is more of a friend to him, and also fist-bumped him. But his friend got up and gave him a hug. I noticed a missed opportunity to demonstrate affection, and I overthink my social interactions but I did want to give him a hug. I usually err on the side of caution, the colder one is the less likely one is to find oneself on the side of embarrassment.
Sacrifice: fear of embarrassment
Why: we ought to express what we feel with our bodies.
I wish to know more about my surroundings. As I've hosted my family and a couple of couchsurfers in the past few years, I notice just how ignorant I am about what surrounds me. We walk past a statue of a king on his horse, "who is that guy?" eeerm, Charles Whatever, it says here. Who was him? No clue. And this happens with a bunch of buildings and landmarks in Madrid, I have no clue about them. I feel this is not only for people who visit me, but for myself and my relationship to the land where I live. I passed Burgos probably twice not taking notice of the statue of El Cid, but after I read the book I couldn't not-notice it, I even know it from memory: El Cid is riding his magnificient horse (Babieca), he is pointing forward with his sword, has armour and a simple helmet. His beard is long and flows to his chest, because he promised not to cut his beard until his king took him back. I will verify my memory:
Sacrifice: being lost in thought. I usually walk thinking about stuff. This requires presence, noticing things that you don't know, researching them. It is not enough to know names, but to have a proper framework which serves as scaffolding to hold those names. This is related to my intellectual pursuit intention.
Why: I've informally decided to stay in Spain for as long as I have this job. I hope it will be years, and it's a great investment to become aware and knowledgeable about your surroundings.
I wish to pursue more forms of expression other than writing. I should draw now and then, use my voice, use my body to express things. Post more pictures. Lemme choose one from our camino:
(not actually taken by me of course, but I guess this is an alternative form of expression).
Sacrifice: writing on a keyboard. I often complain that I can't express my thoughts as eloquently as I'd like when I use my voice, but this happens because I don't do it much. I ought to dictate my entries more, to represent feelings in photos, to draw things even if they are ugly. I started doing it in my notebooks my drawings were crude at first, they got better with time. I must not be attached to quality, quality comes with practice.
I wish to get my driver's license. Ack this one I don't really wish but I feel an obligation to get it. I'm 45 years old and I confess I wouldn't trust myself to drive me anywhere. I've had a driver's license in Mexico, but these are expedited as paperwork, no driving test is done. I've driven in brief periods before, when my girlfriend had a car and I could borrow it to drive here and there, for example, but my total drive time is a joke for my age, and there's many gaps in my practice. I have good spatial intelligence, and I'd get up to speed very quick. Here in Spain I can practice by renting through one of the multiple car-sharing apps. You have to go through driving lessons here, and they say they are very tough. But I feel that once I do it in Spain, I will be able to do it everywhere. My main problem is not having consistent access to a vehicle, here this won't be a problem because I will be able to practice now and then.
Sacrifice: money and time. lessons are expensive.
Why: I don't feel a pressing need, just a discomfort. Man-child vibes. I suspect I don't feel the compulsion enough as to actually get me through the lessons, but I write this down here in case I'm ever wondering what I should do with my downtime.
I will add to this list if anything else comes up in my awareness.