There's multiple threads I want to update, I'll just separate them by a line.

I've been searching for Steve, my friend who stabbed Jonathan. It's very complicated, I don't even know Steve's last name. My friend (who was a guest at the hostel but already left), told me an Indian fellow came asking for information. The guy said he was a friend of Steve's sister, who lives in Toronto. His sister was concerned because Steve was not responding to her messages.

I think I know who she is, because the situation sound implausible to me. Steve had a friend on Toronto with whom he chatted a every day. She was a friend of his ex-wife. I hope this means more people in Steve's circle know about the incident, because I'm sure Steve is trying to wing it alone. He never asked for help, even while doing the work of three people. I had to find my ways with him so that I could help him out.

I'm trying to figure out Steve's last name. Steve was looking for pieces to complete his recumbent bike within budget. He perused Kijiji and FB Marketplace often. I reached out to people on these sites who had listings which I thought would interest him and wrote this:

Hi [name],

I have a friend who might have potentially got in touch with you. He was quite obsessed about recumbent bikes and was looking for pieces to complete his own bike. Unfortunately he has gone missing and I need his last name to give it to the police.

His name is Steven. If this description matches a buyer it would be very helpful for us to know his last name. Thank you for your time, I wouldn't reach out if this was not concerning something so important.

No luck and I feel I'm at a dead end. I debate wether to accept the fact that I will not be able to find him. I could testify in court but really all I want to do is give him a hug and tell him I understand.

Jonathan hasn't understood anything. My friend told me he took the words I said to him as a threat, and wanted to report me to the police. I'm utterly unconcerned about this. In fact, I just realized, if I imply to Jonathan that I was working with Steve in order to harm him, that would get me involved in the case. But this I do not want to pursue.

Yesterday I wrote that the delivery game is not customer service, but funnily enough when I started working later in the evening, I wrote some text replacement shortcuts so that I could communicate with clients on the status or their order. I have good communication skills and my presence can be courteous and professional. Drawing on my experience as a butler of sorts I've been playing a game nobody else is playing: providing good customer service.

Yesterday, being Monday, was a super slow day but I made some good tips with this strategy. I'm still debating how to handle non-tippers, there's no way to coax them into tipping so I'll ask them to rate me. I made a mistake on an order (I forgot to give him a can of soda) which brought my score down and I want to bring it back up. I just debate wether to mention the tip, i.e. "If you liked my service the best tip is a positive rating" or simply avoid it "Thank you for rating my delivery". I think I'll go for the edgy stuff.

I'm reading Les Miserables by Victor Hugo. What a gripping novel, everything I read resounds with what I'm experiencing at this moment of my life. I realize my poverty is fake poverty, I have a network of friends and family who would catch me from a fall, but there's millions of people who--not being able to make ends meet--would find themselves completely destitute and on the streets. Now I see the plight of the homeless and the destitute with much more compassion.

I used to have socialist sympathies in my late teens, then libertarian sympathies in my twenties. Now I understand both dispositions are right: I need to put in my own effort to make things work out from me. Accepting handouts makes me feel powerless. At the same time I admit I can't do everything on my own, I depend on other people's kindness, and oftentimes help comes as a relief. It is a theme that plays out in all dichotomies: it is not one or the other, it is one and the other.