The front-facing camera in my phone was broken, taking only blurry pictures. Feeling this fact to be in sync with my own perception (blurry, unfocused, confused), I felt it was due to be fixed when my perception was fixed.
One day I biked up Mt. Royal and some guys asked me for a photo. After taking their picture, I asked for mine. I knew the camera was blurry, but I wanted a photo like this because it captured my outer as well as my inner state.
I finally got the phone fixed a couple of days ago. My inner and outer vision are more focused, so it was due. Later in the evening I was biking down the Lachine canal when I saw a building I liked, I took a picture of it but it made no justice, so as a girl walked by, I asked her to snap a picture of me instead.
I never ask people to take pictures of me, but somehow this feels part of a ritual. A ritual to regain focus and clarity in my life. I am grateful for being free again.