Some days ago I opened an account on Tinder and Bumble, and I reactivated my Couchsurfing profile putting a notice on it: I now use this as a dating website. A request to stay does not imply anything, you will still sleep on the couch if you want, but I will only host single women with whom I think there could be chemistry, and if the chemistry is mutual well, let's enjoy it. Or something like that, I'm paraphrasing myself.
I received zero requests in the five days my profile had this notice. I thought: I ought to compare without the notice, so I removed it and then I started receiving 2-3 requests per day. At times I feel icky about doing this, but at the same time I must admit that concealing these intentions is even more icky. I'm was not willing to German kid with his two friends, the bartender guy who was to work five days in Madrid, or the two trans friends from SE Asia so far.
Bumble I quickly discarded for time invested vs matches. Tinder has been a waste of time so far, I don't like back people who like me (yeah I paid that platinum bullshit). I'm clear with my intentions: short-term relationships for the avoidant guy who tends to move every two years. Perhaps I should also experiment with concealment of intention to see how that goes.
I don't think I've written about an in-person singles event I attended at a sexuality school. Perhaps I didn't write about it because there was nothing to write about. Out of the 30 women there I liked one, but she was a bit guarded and I took that as a rejection, perhaps I should have asked for her instagram anyways. So be it.
I'm not frustrated, it's too early for that, but if I am to keep on doing what I'm doing I will become frustrated. I often feel that going at things directly is the wrong way of doing it: if you want to become rich, don't try to become rich; you work or invest on something that interests you and also has economic potential, wealth will follow.
I'd say—if I were to map this observation to dating—that perhaps I'm climbing uphill on a straight line, when it would be better to zig-zag my way through the problem. How does that look in practice? Go where women who want the same thing as you go. Hmmm perhaps this summer I ought to take one of those Tantra retreats which I avoid so much. Let's see.