_or why I avoid the I.

This is the only article in which I will not avoid writing I. It would simply be too awkward. When attention turns towards it’s thinker for enough time, once notices that the thinker is in reality a psychological entity which exists only in one’s mind. The “I” is an illusion of consciousness.

What to do with this? Legend says that you are meant to kill it. I’ve tried numerous times, yet I admit my failure. I’ve come to terms with the thinker: I’ll stop trying to kill you if you behave properly. Don’t go around seeking attention or validation, stop calling “look at me!” as a child would do, and do not scheme and seek favour from others.

My higher self lacks all common sense. It assumes everything he’s told is true, that all people have good intentions, that you must love your enemies. I am blind, yet I seem to have a guide dog who notices the crooks, the pretenders, and those whom soul is corrupted. If the ego weren’t useful, nature wouldn’t have provided consciousness with one.

Yet, as we lack senses, we tend to think we are the dog. We see, hear, smell, taste and feel through the dog. This is the animal part of human nature. But we must also know there’s a higher consciousness in charge of it. Some of us grow vicious it when it misbehaves, kicking or screaming at it as we’d never do with any other person’s dog. Others allow the dog free reign, it can shit eat and fuck whenever it pleases, the owner being pulled around by it.

There are some people who seem to have a naturally good relationship with their dog. The dog knows where and when to play, protect, eat, have sex, and do all those things mammals do. These seem to arise either from loving well-structured families, or from lucking out at the doggy lottery. But most intruguing to me are those who, through great effort and patience, have come to form a good relationship with their animal components.

My own dog is the kind dog who stands on his hind legs and makes a sad face hoping that you pet him. Many of those who write on Medium have dogs like this. In my attempts to educate my dog, I instruct him to get off of you in his intentions of seeking attention. My way of doing this is avoiding the use of the word I. However, in my experience attempting to educate my dog, some experience is gained, and to transmit it instead of using “I”, I refer to him as “your servant”. I came to this through my Mexican upbringing where we say su servidor to speak about ourselves from a humble standpoint.

Though these intentions come from