Often after lunch I sit down and write a paragraph or two about feeling all sleepy and unable to work. After I'm done writing two paragraphs I delete it unpublished, because I've already written things very similar to this before. So, instead of describing my current sleepy experience, I might as well write something—anything, that is not related to it.
A notification came up saying I have a tinder like. It showed up on my laptop despite Tinder only being installed on my phone. I hate it. Five minutes later I come back having disabled it. Hopefully Apple will get its AI shit together and allow me to configure without having to hunt for settings.
Ok, Tinder like. By now I know it will be someone I don't like back. Am I too picky? Sometimes I think I'm exposed to too much beauty in my yoga studio so my expectations are loopsided. I have a couple of classmates whom I like, but they (and I) like the studio as a sanctuary from everything, especially drama. I think if I had something going on I would switch studios. I sidetracked, Tinder match:
Black lady. Curvy. Nothing filled in her profile. Her face is obscured by her phone when she takes pictures of herself. Photo from behind looking at the Coliseum in Rome. Photo in the mirror of a fancy restaurant. Photo in the mirror of the gym. I don't like people who obscure some part of themselves, it makes me think she doesn't like her face. It could also be that she wants to conceal her identity. Says she's on Tinder for "New friends". I honestly don't know what that means, it could go both ways. I don't like her enough to bother. Swipe left.
I think dating apps make us horrible people. Or makes me a horrible person. I find myself thinking in labels as I swipe left: "fat". "old". "broken". "expensive". "sagging". In the real world I wouldn't think this about them, but because I'm "rejecting" them, I must find a reason to do so. What would be the labels that are used on me? Oh I have too many shirtless photos. "narcissist". "bald". "man child". It's a cesspool, yet I'm committed to staying on it till the month I paid runs out.
Ok, food coma has passed. Back to work.