Some years ago I begun dating a special woman. She had that appealing combination of damaged goods in process of healing. She lived in a spiritually meaningful place (Amatlán, near Tepoztlán). In one of my visits to her we came across a day market, and among the things they were selling was this rattle. It felt special.

Later on we embarked on a trip to the desert to have a peyote ceremony. I took this rattle. I imagined myself chanting and playing it during the ceremony. It didn't go as I expected. It rained on us. The medicine only made us lethargic. We were too inexperienced, but I only know this in hindsight. I know understand how to do it.

When this item reappears in a new form, I will know I will be ready for my true peyote ceremony.