Same story last night: I went to bed at 10pm, woke up at 2am, slept again at 5am. This time, however, I arose at 6:30 to go to an early ashtanga class. Practice was grueling and I'm just back from class, at the office. Co-workers have already arrived, but I don't want to lose my writing streak.
In a while (at 1pm) I have my bi-weekly therapy session. I guess I will write the story of how I met my therapist. It was about ten years ago, in Mexico City. I was exploring online dating, on OKCupid, and there was an American-Mexican psychologist with whom I had a high match percentage and was cute.
On our first date we met in a park near her place. We had esquites from a stand in the park (Mexican non-sweet corn in a cup with mayo, lime and chile). She was very pleasant and the conversation was very interesting, but I wasn't physically attracted to her. She was my age (36 at the time). I asked her: "how is it that you seem to be a catch, but you are not caught", and I remember very well her answer: "life circumstances, I've travelled around. I'm not broken". I was dreading that she asked the same question, because I considered myself broken. But she didn't ask.
After two more dates without getting physical (not even a kiss), I texted her I really appreciated her as a friend and that she was a great catch, but that I wasn't feeling romantic chemistry and that we should call it off. She said she was feeling the same way (it stung, and I distinctly remembered how illogical was this feeling).
A year passed by. In between I had a short-lived but intense romance with a woman who was less wholesome and quite broken, which ended when I moved to Spain. The move and the break-up disrupted my life enough that I sought help. I thought about the psychologist I dated: we shared many values, readings and spiritual outlook. She would understand me better than anyone else I got off from the internet.
So I sent her an email: "Hi, I'm in Spain now, I'm looking for therapy. If you are willing and you think it's a good idea, I'd like to do it with you. What do you think?". It took her three days to respond affirmatively. And she did turn out to be a great therapist for me, though I was surprised at how much she pushed back and cut my bullshit, in my previous experience with therapists, they mostly nod and allow you delude yourself. I liked this a lot about her.
After some time I declared myself over my rump, I thanked her and we parted ways. This time I got in touch with her about a specific issue: I was wanting to break up with my girlfriend, over a reason which seemed too superficial for me, and I wanted to get to the bottom of it. I still felt broken.
Oh surprise: she lives in Madrid now (as I do), is married and has a daughter. We do our sessions via Zoom and haven't seen each other in person (which I have no interest in doing, neither she does). She's still the best therapist I've met (for me) though sometimes I feel steered towards a more conventional life path, always dissuading me from my impulses of throwing my job away to do as I please, but it's good to have a force in my life which makes me reconsider my choices.
Ok, it's time to get to work now.