Today I went to the museum of evolution. A couple of thoughts came up:
Primitive features such as having no chin, prominent brow ridges, a neck jutting out from the shoulders, a sloping forehead, thick fingers, wide hips in men; are all seen by modern humans as unattractive. Most of these features seem aesthetic rather than functional. Were they "bred out" from the sapiens genome on the basis of aesthetics?
I also saw that the children of our cousins the neanderthals and our ancestors had more sapiens like features. Their children looked more like us. Perhaps we've been selected for more adults looking like children? Men generally prefer neoteny features in women, women prefer less masculine faces for long-term partners.
I finally got to see the excalibur biface in person. It is an exquisite stone handaxe indeed. The mystery of how and why it made its way to the bottom of a pit, unused, deepened in me. Nothing else like it has been found in the pit, which leads me to believe its placement there is not ritual, but accidental.
In the background of my visit to this museum I was thinking of an affair I had in the camino, years ago. I had already been to this museum, but I barely remembered anything about it because a 24 year old woman was hanging from my arm and quickly grew bored looking at skulls, rocks and bones.
We had met about a week before. It was obvious she was into me, but she was immature and honestly kinda dull. At first I parlayed her advances, but eventually we got drunk on wine at dinner and she shoved me into the bathroom to give me a blow job there. I stopped it before long, I was drunk and limp.
I had been celibate for three years, and the prospect of having sex was very contradictory, reason told me this was a very bad idea, but my body was yearning and very excited at the prospect. Never have I experienced avoidance and wanting so badly.
I had sex with her twice before deciding it was a very bad idea, she was very clingy and we couldn't share a moment of silence, it all had to be filled with senseless banter. I wrapped up things as best as I could and I went on an alternate route. I felt guilty about the affair, she was obviously coming from a place of personal ("daddy") issues and not authentic attraction, and myself from a place of lacking.
After three weeks or so I found genital warts on my privates. I knew that, even if I removed them, I was carrying the virus. My immune system would get rid of it with enough time. I didn't want to pass it on, so I waited it out. It took four years.
A situation that rhymes with this is cooking up. I hope to have evolved enough to face it with wisdom, but I will only write about it when it happens. I hope to have evolved enough.