On the weekend I went to a singles night at a sexuality school in the Argüelles district. Before going, I cleaned up the house and I promised myself I wouldn't be disappointed if I came back alone, which I did, and I write to reflect on the fact that a dual emotion is found, a kind of gladness of showing up, and yet knowing this kind of dating is not for me either.
I arrived and was directed to take a spot at the end of the room. It the ends of the circle which still not had completed, sat a beatiful young lady looking at the infinite, and at the other a man about my age, bald like me, skinny with nervous energy. I sat next to the young lady.
She turned her body away, as if not wanting to speak, during most of the time we were sitting waiting for the event to start. I got the message and relaxed into sitting postures. We went into conversation games most of the night. At the end, the 50 participants divided into two different groups. I was at one where the conversation continued, upstairs I could hear laughter.
I went upstairs to find two groups of people: one was just three participants: a 30ish handsome man with an attractive and fit 39 year old (whom I saw arrive together), and a cute-chubby 25ish swinger-scene lady. It's only now that I realize this was a prelude to which I was not invited, I did well in joining the large group of 20 participants.
They were playing bottle of truth or dare. Most people were taking truths as the dares were spicy, but the ocasional participant took a dare, often causing uproar. After a round of truths the bottle landed right between the lady next to me, a 48ish, and myself, and the group declared we would do a dare together: striptease of one garment. She initially protested by I told her I would dance for her. She had nothing she could take off without revealing to much, so she said she would take off a shoe and throw it at me. I said OK.
She got in the center of the circle and kneeled down to untie her shoe, while I circled her, dancing sensually, when she finally took off her shoe she threw it at me, and even though this is what we initially agreed upon it caught me by surprise, hitting me near the crotch. I acted grasping myself and curling up down to the floor next to her, and once I was there I uncurled myself and started fake pumping but with nice slow movements. The audience roared in laughter and our improvised sketch and we high fived.
She was interested in me, but not really corresponded, and she noticed quickly. She could have been my date to take back home I suppose, if I proved to be a good sport, but the fact that I don't feel regret tells me it was ok to pass.
On Sunday I did regret not speaking with the 39 year old fit lady who came with the handsome guy. But now I understand: they were there to find a liason, and I'm in no position to offer myself to be part of it, so it was ok to pass too.
On Sunday and today (Monday) I've been thinking it's just time to go back into monastic mode. But today I went to yoga and I chatted with a couple of people and it was nice smiles etc. And I remembered: I'm seeing improvement here, it's natural and effortless. I'm more akin to these people than the ones I met at the event.
The lady that declined grabbing a coffee said to me we would grab it on Sunday. I said OK. She didn't show up for class, probably due to the daylight savings kicking in. In this I was kinda relieved because it was the Sunday after the dating event, and I was tired and a bit hungover from the wines at the after-event tapas.