Just moments ago I was recording myself shirtless. I did several takes, looking at each video and deciding what could be improved on the next iteration. I was making progress and teaching myself in the process of wanting to demonstrate something. However, at my 5th take or so, the phone tipped over from its feeble stand, toppling over. It just fell on its face on the bench, when I had left it leaning against the leg of the table. This happened minutes into recording.

I interpreted this oracle as "don't publish this".

It's true that an underground train runs nearby. I am on the ground floor. I don't claim a paranormal event, on the contrary, what happened was a psychic event triggered by the material world. I immediately took it to mean "don't publish this". I stopped recording and opened my laptop, and here I am writing at this moment.

As I recall from memory (no AI), Goethe was on a walk in nature paining between the decision of deepening into his writing career or pursuing his painting talents (genius problems). he decided to read his fate by throwing an object, let's say a pen, into a pool of water under the small bridge he was walking over.

I fetched Goethe's original quote from Project Gutenberg (I think Claude is being blocked. We ought to be able to quote freely and accurately anything that it out of copyright):

I wandered on the right bank of the river, which at some depth and distance below me, and partly concealed by a rich bush of willows, glided along in the sunlight. Then again arose in me the old wish, worthily to imitate such objects. By chance I had a handsome pocket-knife in my left hand, and at the moment, from the depth of my soul, arose, as it were, an absolute command, according to which, without delay, I was to fling this knife into the river. If I saw it fall, my wish to become an artist would be fulfilled, but if the sinking of the knife was concealed by the overhanging bush of willows, I was to abandon the wish and the endeavour. This whim had no sooner arisen in me than it was executed. For, without regarding the usefulness of the knife, which comprised many instruments in itself, I cast it with the left hand, as I held it, violently towards the river. But here I had to experience that deceptive ambiguity of oracles, of which, in antiquity, such bitter complaints were made. The sinking of the knife into the water was concealed from me by the extreme twigs of the willows, but the water, which rose from the fall, sprang up like a strong fountain, and was perfectly visible. I did not interpret this phenomenon in my favour, and the doubt which it excited in me was afterwards the cause that I pursued these exercises more interruptedly and more negligently, and gave occasion for the import of the oracle to fulfil itself. For the moment at least the external world was spoiled for me, I abandoned myself to my imaginations and feelings, and left the well-situated castles and districts of Weilburg, Limburg, Diez, and Nassau one by one behind me, generally walking alone, but often for a short time associating myself with another.

I'm glad I quoted verbatim, here goes Claude to clear things up cause it's difficult to parse out of context:

The oracle's outcome is ambiguous, he chooses to interpret it against himself, and that pessimistic interpretation then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy — he loses motivation, pursues the drawing exercises more "interruptedly and negligently," and gradually lets the artistic practice lapse. The oracle didn't decide his fate; his interpretation of it did. Which is very Goethean — and a rather sharp psychological observation about how we use external signs to ratify decisions we've already half-made internally.

Aha! Thank you genius from the past! I don't think Goethe makes claim about interpreting signs, but he warns against the pessimistic interpretation, self-doubt will bite you.

I do know I want to take my physical explorations into writing, and here I could try something... I think I know what to do: I want to show you what I'm doing, but I'm camera shy. I interpret the oracle as "don't do it" because of a genuine concern from my ego. But I also need and want to go in that direction.

This is my commitment: tomorrow I will show you my handstand and compare it against one from one a year ago. However, I must warn that the sober ego does not appreciate tasks or commitments made by the high ego, I will let Mark of tomorrow to come in the morning and decide what to do.

...

I've avoided linking my couchsurfing guest's online presence because I feel I violate their privacy, but I've thought about it better and when one has an online public presence and no intimate details are revealed about that person. I kept to my commitments effortlessly, I think the most valuable lesson to me is to learn I'm definitely a safe person and I provided a good landing spot for her to arrive to Europe. She is already painfully aware of the attachment future hosts have to her visit, and is reconsidering some. Even though she's as powerful as to break your neck, who want to get into that trouble?

...

I wrote one of those long whatsapp messages:

Hola Papá y Margaret,

He estado pensando respecto a la casa, me apetece mucho estar ahí para asegurar que saquemos provecho de tu generosa disposición, gracias papá. Siempre ha sido mi ilusión arreglar la casa, inclusive he pensado en dejar el trabajo porque voy a México el 29 de mayo, pero lo he pensado mejor y la verdad es que estoy aprendiendo mucho aquí sobre IA y estoy gestando ideas para cómo hacer que realmente nos rinda el presupuesto. Va a ser mucho más fácil proyectar lo que queremos hacer, cuanto va a costar, y a quién comprar. Cuando vaya en mayo espero presentarles un proyecto de renovación económico, sostenible en ambiente y en dinero.

Además de IA, en el trabajo estoy adquiriendo buenos hábitos de rutina y voy a poder ahorrar para no ser overhead salarial. Si mis tendencias pasadas son alguna indicación, estaré volviendo a México en un año. Hasta entonces me gustaría que pudieses "earmark that money" papá, y que pensases en cuánto y qué condiciones pides para que yo sea tu "contratista".

Margaret, mi presupuesto de $4,000 MXN/mes sigue en pie y será vigente mientras trabaje, para que no te veas sobrecargada con mamá. A papá le toca retomar esa decisión.

Nos vemos al principio de junio, aún no tengo fechas concretas. Si tienen alguna opinión fuerte, favor de compartir. Muchos abrazos.