My cousin's fiancé just arrived from Mexico, she's showering before we head out for dinner. She arrived in a different flight than my cousin because they had originally planned to make a one-night stop in Toronto, but her Canadian visa was denied. She's self-employed (as many middle-class Mexicans are) and this often implies difficulty proving the stability that foreign governments look for. My cousin is arriving tomorrow, very early in the morning.
I've been speaking with her a little more than an hour, and she just got off a transoceanic flight, so I know better than to draw any conclusions, but so far I think she's a good match for my cousin. I have the precedents of what my cousin told me about her on his last visit, so I'm not completely blank slate.
She's 27 years old, and my cousin is 42. My aunt expressed uneasiness at their age gap, and I said to my aunt: "well, if I ever show up with a 15 year age gap on my arm, I hope I'm not judged for it", she turned towards her husband and said "Well Rick here would surely congratulate you" and we all laughed amicably. In truth, the two times I've dated younger, the lack of compatibility has been very clear from the beginning.
I'm writing this the next day. We had a drink at the rooftop of the Círculo de Bellas Artes and then went to an affordable-chic Spanish restaurant for dinner. We ended with a sightseeing walk, taking advantage that my apartment is right in the touristy area.
She expressed so many times that she felt like in a dream, that it was all so beautiful and quiet (Mexico is ludicrously loud, but you only notice when you leave). She marveled at everything. It reminded me of the first time I came to Madrid. It was around 17 years ago, and I was about her age. I wrote something at the time, which I will translate and comment here:
Last week (2007) I returned to Puebla after a month and a half in Madrid. Once I got over the Jamaicón syndrome [feeling homesick], I can confidently say that Madrid is an amazing city in so many ways — I loved it. Here’s the breakdown:
The Good
Public transport: The metro is efficient, clean, and there are stations everywhere. I only took the bus once — same experience. I have to admit that taxi drivers aren't the "psychologists of the people" like they are in Mexico, but they do their job well.
As I've lived in several more cities after writing this, I notice just how much of a difference good public transportation makes in your quality of life—mine at least, 'cause I haven't owned a car.
Paella: I'm sure the paella I had was far from the best in Spain (it was just a random restaurant), and yet it’s the best I’ve had in my life.
It's difficult to underscore how much paella outside of Spain sucks. You could argue it's a different dish, "rice with things" is what they call something that doesn't fulfill the cannon here
It’s a pedestrian-friendly city: Pedestrian traffic lights everywhere, and cars don’t encroach on crosswalks.
This was a real eye opener for me. There's another world possible, where people respect the dignity of the pedestrian. It makes you feel as if everyone were kind and educated. The way we drive in Latin America is barbaric.
Tipping: In Mexico, nearly all restaurant workers earn the minimum wage (around $4 USD a day), so the customer is expected to cover their salary by tipping 10%. The only time you don’t tip is if the service is truly atrocious. Spain has a different system I haven’t fully figured out (different people leave different tips), but you definitely leave much less than in Mexico.
Oh I still love this about Spain. Pay decent wages and forget about tips.
The amount of alcohol in drinks: Though expensive, the drinks are poured generously — a bit more than half a highball glass, and they give you the rest of the mixer bottle.
Bars have clearly cut back on the amount of alcohol they serve in each drink. I think in general people are drinking less, perhaps worldwide.
The professional community: In Madrid, there's a strong sense of community among professionals working in interaction design, HCI, usability, etc. I went to a Cadius meetup, and it was great.
This was during the blogging era in which we all shared knowledge enthusiastically. A bygone era replaced by clout and posturing on social media.
The museums: My jaw nearly dropped when I visited the Thyssen and the Prado. Honestly, you’d need a whole day for each gallery in both museums. It’s a shame I missed the Reina Sofía.
I'd revise that statement to say that a good retirement plan is to truly appreciate all the art available in Madrid. My relationship with art has changed since then: if you must choose how to spend your time (and most of us do), it's better creating bad art than appreciating good art. Of course, we all squander our time so rarely visiting a museum is a bad investment of time, but don't feel pressured into it.
Architecture: At every corner, there’s a building — old or modern — that grabs your attention.
It's also remarkable how quickly it fades into the background.
Social openness: Same-sex marriage is already a reality, while in Mexico we're still debating civil unions.
What is commonplace today (in the western world) was groundbreaking then. I think what is still remarkable is just normal it is for someone to be gay here.
IKEA: I was blown away by IKEA. I’d read about it before, but it’s really an experience that any designer, economist, or systems thinker should try.
I don't know if I'm a bit jaded now, or more mature, but industrially produced furniture does not seem exciting at all anymore.
The people: Ludita rules, Cosmonauta rules, Beco rules, Sam rules, and basically everyone I met rules (I won’t name everyone because I’m sure I’d forget someone).
That Sam is my boss now.
The Bad
Prices: I never stopped being shocked by the cost of absolutely everything. The only things I found cheaper were the internet (thank you, Telmex!), serrano ham, olive oil, and wine.
This is no longer the case, I find Mexico to be on par with Spain price-wise, except in rent and real estate prices.
Some state paternalism: You can barely buy any medicine without a prescription (except the basics like aspirin, cough syrup, etc.). You can’t buy bottles at stores after 10 p.m. Cigarettes are only sold in tobacconists and bars.
I now understand Mexico is the exception, and why foreigners enjoy it's lawless freedom.
The temperature: Apart from my childhood in Canada, I had never felt such cold. I haven’t experienced Madrid’s heat, but judging by summer temperatures, I assume it’s hellish.
Oh I've now known enough to know that Madrid is not too cold or too hot. It's just that the place where I am from in Mexico is ridiculously mild:
Churros with chocolate after partying: I really tried this cultural adaptation. I ended up loving almost everything about Madrid — but this was the exception.
I still stand behind this statement.
The Myths
The word emparedado: Spaniards think Mexicans call sandwiches emparedado, and we think they do. In reality, we both say sándwich. I guess it comes from dubbed content in “international Spanish.”
Water is expensive: You drink tap water (from the faucet), and — at least in winter — it tastes great.
I remember the first day I spent in Madrid I asked my host if I could have a glass of water. She looked at me puzzled: "That's like asking if you can breathe air!" she exclaimed. I was mind-blown that you could drink water from the faucet. Another world is possible indeed! Oh how quickly we become used to wonderful good things.
Europeans don’t shower daily: Not true (at least in my experience — to be fair, I wasn’t going around asking).
I still haven't noticed any difference in hygiene, but for whatever reason (probably backpackers), Europeans get a bad rep in Mexico.
Mexican Spanish is more Americanized than Spain’s Spanish: Sure, we say computadora instead of ordenador, but you say parking instead of estacionamiento. And there are many more examples I can’t remember right now.
I must recant this statement, clearly Mexican Spanish is more Americanized than Spain's.
The Curious
Many automated processes: If you walk into any establishment, you’ll see far fewer employees than in Mexico. I assume it’s because of salaries. I went into a Pizza Hut with three employees — in Mexico, it would probably have ten. There are vending machines for everything (movie rentals, metro tickets, even “design your own business card” machines).
Still the case.
Lime → lemon: What we call lima, they call limón. And vice versa.
Similar to English. Limón is Lime and Lime is Lima.
“Voy a por”: “I’m going to for cigarettes” (Voy a por cigarros) is totally normal. To understand how weird this sounds to a Mexican ear, imagine someone saying, “I’m coming from from Mexico.” Two prepositions together = linguistic curiosity.
Mineral water doesn’t exist: Spaniards call bottled water agua mineral. Carbonated water exists, of course — it’s just plain water with gas. The closest I got to mineral water was sifón.
I later understood they do have the mineral water I was expecting, the one with the metallic taste which is naturally carbonated.
Greeting and farewell rules are different: Everyone knows Spaniards greet with two kisses (and men with a handshake), but there are more subtle rules. The one that stood out the most: you don’t greet with a kiss or handshake the people you see every day.
Every culture has many codified rules within greetings, it's almost expected for foreigners to commit multiple faux pas as they get a grasp of them.
Home appliances: Refrigerators have the freezer on the bottom and the fridge on top. Washing machines are usually in the kitchen, and almost every home has a dishwasher.
I'm now a believer.
Bimbo and VIPS: You’ll find Bimbo bread and VIPS restaurants in Spain. I think both trace back to Mexican origins, but at some point they split off and no longer have ties to their Mexican counterparts.
Things I Don’t Understand
Why the metro has buttons or levers to open the doors: What’s the downside to having doors open automatically when the train stops?
I now understand that this is because some stations are above ground and you don't want to be exposed to the weather unnecesarily.
Food terminology is very different: Tocino is bacon, res is ternera, camarones are langostinos, rebanadas are lonchas, and many more.
Yes.
The metro runs in the opposite direction: I was told it’s because the British built it. But I never got used to it — I always expected the train to arrive on the other side.
Still strange.
Very few children: It felt almost like the movie Children of Men. The birth rate is about half of Mexico’s, but it felt even lower. Maybe they don’t let kids play outside, or families live in the suburbs, or maybe Madrid specifically has an even lower birth rate.
I now understand people who have children tend to go to the suburbs.