There are two main reasons why I stop writing my work logs: one is when life is so dull I feel no inclination to register experience, the other is when experience is so rich it would be difficult to register.
The case for me not writing as of late is--fortunately--the second one.
I knew that when I would arrive to Montreal to clear out my grandparent's apartment I'd be delighted in enjoying Montreal, but this has been on another level. Sometimes I'm biking and the scenery triggers anxiety: I'm supposed to be back at home soon! But then I remember, I'm free, and I smile to the sun and pedal faster.
We seem to only enjoy free time in the face of not having had free time. A man who has abundant free time does not experience it, because you can only have free time if your time is locked up in some way. My time was locked up a long time ago, now I feel I am getting it back, and its delightful.
I wake up when I wake up. I prepare coffee. I sometimes prepare breakfast, other times I skip it because hunger woke me up in the middle of the night and I had my breakfast at 4am. Then, I will do some work regarding the apartment. Most of the apartment work are simple chores, and the best way for me to work on them is to do them briefly. So I may fill three bags of things to throw away, then photograph some things that will be sold online, then do a light clean-up, and then around noon I go to the gym.
I used to have a brief 30-45min workout because I had to be back home soon. Now I delight in having all the time in the world. I concentrate before going deep in a squat, I pull up over the bar in slow motion, I stretch my tendons with patience and care, and instead of hurried hard looks, I gaze softly appreciating the beautiful bodies around me.
I have discovered I can experience men's bodies as beautiful too. Not that I am bisexual, mind you, but that the experience of beauty is not inevitably hinged with sexuality. Expressed in vernacular I suppose you could say "it looks good but I'm not hungry for it", which I do experience with women.
After the gym I'm going to a yoga studio. Yoga in Montreal has been generally disappointing, and I wonder if this means I should not try something else. There was this time when I had one hour between yoga classes and I went to have lunch to the park. I sat down in front of the volleyball courts and watched people play. I've never really played volleyball but I watched attentively and thought: "yes, I could do that", and now I'm looking into taking lessons so that I can participate. This would be a huge spiritual development for me, because my endeavors are usually solitary, playing team sports would be very different than anything I've tried.
Once I'm done with the day, I smoke a joint and ride back home, throughly happy with being alive. I remember my grandmother playing solitaire all day, smoking, and I think "I want none of that" and I try to do something new.
The day before yesterday I was coming back home and I biked past the calisthenics park. I was already tired from so much exercise but I thought "I might was well do a couple of pull-ups". On the grounds I found a face that I recognized: it was Mateo, a calisthenics teacher that gave me a single class a year ago.
"Your name is Mateo right?" I asked him.
"Yes, that's me",
"Oh, you gave me a handstand class around a year ago",
"I'm sorry but I don't remember you"
"Well, it was a single class and you must have hundreds of students"
"Yeah that's right"
And then I appreciated his advice with my handstand game at the time. He told me he had bought the gym where I attended his class, and it was to open soon. I asked for his website, then he invited me to the opening party with will be at the end of the month. I was very happy about being invited, and now I would like to attend with a date. I have a new mission.
I will simply write each morning without attachment. The purpose is not to create a literary piece, it is simply to register experience the best way I can. Write write write whatever comes to your mind. On my mind right now: it's time to get started. I will write more tomorrow. Until then.