I publish this five days after writing it because I didn't have an internet connection. I didn't write anymore during the retreat, but I'll do a write-up soon because I want to remember/integrate it.
Yesterday I arrived to the venue to register. The lady who was registering me asked "why do you have a Mexican accent?"—because I'm Mexican. "You're not Mexican, you learned Spanish in Mexico", she said. I'm often tempted to point out the rudeness that some Spaniards have questioning identity and nationality, you shouldn't question claims of belonging (unless you are an immigration officer at the border).
I asked her if there were any individual rooms available, despite having reserved shared accommodation. I was just curious about how much more would it be, and perhaps pay for it if it was affordable. She said "no there's not, but there's other rooms with less people in an area further away, would you like to look at them?". I responded affirmatively, and the lady asked a volunteer to walk me to the rooms so I could take a look.
First she showed me a small room with five beds. I was to be the 5th occupant of this room. I was non-plussed. Then we walked down a dirt ramp which made its way into a tiny valley of sorts where they have animals (donkeys, swans, rabbits, goats, sheep and pigs) and orchards. We peeked into the rooms, there was nobody there, but she told me each room had already one guest each. I chose the larger one and installed myself there.
Then I went to a Tantra session. We meditated, gazed into the eyes of another person, used a flower petal to caress the body of another person (and have another person caress ours). It was OK despite all my inner dialogue regarding appropriating the concept of tantra for sexual embodiment and meditation. Some teachers have started calling it "neo-tantra" because really they have nothing to do with each other.
After this was my first ecstatic dance session, which was with live musicians, which was really intense and fun.
At dinner I was dreading both asking to sit at a table and eating alone, so I was relieved to see a man eating on his own. I came to his table and asked if it was OK to sit with him. He said yes. He ate with poor manners. I tried making conversation, but he didn't seem to be too keen on it, grunting responses. He finished his food and excused himself. I shrugged. Probably was alone because he wanted to be alone.
I was supremely tired after dinner, so I came down to my room and promptly fell asleep before 10pm. In the morning I looked into the shower: shit, there was no soap and I didn't bring it. I found a cup in the room which I filled with handsoap from the bathroom (the camino teaches many tricks) and I waited for the hot water to come out, which never did. So I showered in cold water (Mexico teaches many tricks too), I dressed, and I came back into my room to write this.
It's time for breakfast.