Yesterday my nephew and his father arrived. I arranged to take everybody for dinner at a fancy but affordable restaurant. What suffers in this set-up is authenticity, like a fake brand item that—when you inspect closely, it doesn't take you long to see the seams are poorly done and the materials are imitations.
Our waiter was asian, though he spoke good but not native Spanish. When I asked him how the cachopo was presented (to see if it would be easy to share) he struggled and called the captain telling him to explain what was a cachopo, I interrupted "Oh thanks I know what's a cachopo, I was asking about the presentation to see if we could easily share". We were in front of the counter where the kitchen handed out plates and later on, the same captain came fuming with a plate on hand because a waiter had forgotten his table was vegetarian only. He said to the waiter "just take out the meat and take it back to the table", looked back towards the table and said "no no no they're looking at us" shoving the plate back into the kitchen for them to re-do it.
When we were done with our dinner the waiter asked if we wanted any desserts, my sister asked him what was his favorite. He said "to tell you the truth I haven't tried them, but people always compliment the cheese cake and the torrijas", which was a faux pas at a restaurant wanting to pass for a higher end place, they usually give the staff a sample so they can give good advice to their customers. I was was not satisfied with the place until the cheque arrived, then their sins were forgiven and I even left a tip for which our junior Asian waiter seemed more happy than usual.
We walked back home and arranged ourselves in my tiny apartment for sleep. My mother and sister took the bedroom, my nephew and his dad the air mattress, and I took the couch.
In the morning I took half a Modafinil pill and gave the other half to my sister. My nephew's dad (or should I write my sister's ex?) brought it from Mexico where it is sold over the counter. My sister forgot her Ritalin and felt herself struggling (though I couldn't notice anything out of the ordinary) while I was just missing being focused for hours on end.
At work I didn't tell them I was on pills, but before lunchtime I brought out my rolling tobacco and my co-worker joked that I was rolling a joint (I wish, it's been a week). Another joke about my mexican family bringing drugs. Actually yes, I said, I asked them to bring me modafinil, do you know it? One said yes, the other no. Then they said they would like to try it. I said it's cool for like a week, then it levels out (like most performance enhancing drugs, I guess). Then I said I would bring it on Monday to see how it worked out for us.
During work there was a task that had multiple hurdles to get into production, something I guess I would have just given up otherwise, but I obstinately went over the hurdles to get it done. Instead of feeling like a chore, it felt like a challenge. Looking at it objectively, I wonder if it was worth the time. I think we are drilled into the idea that giving up is always wrong, but that's not true, being obstinate with a task is not always the best course of action, there's a time for persisting as well as a time for giving up. To know when to do each is an art.
Something that I also notice is this sort of... accentuated asperger's disposition. A kind of emotional bluntness and indisposition towards leaving work, despite everyone having left work and my family expects me at home, yet I finished some tasks and now I'm writing this... It's Friday dammit.
Almost every Friday at around 4pm I dictate to my co-workers "Ok, I've run out of biological computing credits, it's time for me to go home". I've artificially topped-up my account and now I hesitate to let it go to waste, because my credits will expire tomorrow morning.
Nah, it's time to head back home to my family.