I sometimes complain that my life is too boring to write anything. Then a barrage of experience comes in and I complain that it's too complex to register too. I shall register what I can, taking advantage of post-meal lethargy that leaves me unable to work for an hour or so.
It's sexual dreams every night now:
I went to a party of sorts and laid in a bed where a young woman was already lying down. She seemed receptive so I made a move to kiss her. It was enthusiastically received. I distinctly remember thinking "this is so out of character for me", which is true un waking as well as in dreaming life. I looked at her face closely and worried she might be too young for me, estimating 19 years old. As I looked at her face, subtle wrinkles begun appearing, and suddenly she didn't look 19 but 30. "Oh, that's better" I thought, and went on making out with her.
My father has been hitting record revenues with his water purification company, and offered a budget for us to renovate our house. About $25,000 USD, which would probably pay for a renovated kitchen in the developed world, but goes a long way in Mexico. My sister worked with an architect to come up with a renovation plan and sent the project weeks ago, but I was in a weed haze and kinda forgot about it. Now that she's here we went over the project and I was dismayed.
My father already financed a renovation about a decade ago. My mother was more lucid as to get involved with it (it's not that she's not know, but she's almost 80 years old). She squandered the budget by building stuff that brought zero value. Our home has a single room upstairs and she wanted to access the rooftop to hand clothes to dry. There was an easy access by making an entrace through the closet of the room, but my mother didn't want to lose the closet, so a bridge was built between the room and the adjacent rooftop. Besides looking ugly, being expensive, and just plain being a moronic solution to the problem, the rooftop was never actually used to hang up clothes because pretty soon my mother discovered she doesn't want to carry wet clothes upstairs.
This plan had similar mistakes, this time made by my sister. An expensive wall made of glass blocks to separate our home from the neighbor. A kitchen drain that was not connected to the sewage, but to the garden itself. Some half-assed solution to prevent the house from flooding which would clearly not work. The architect in charge was retarded, I swear, and he seemed to evade my questions and just answer whatever was on his mind. Then he pressured us into getting him an advance, but I didn't want to do so without having a good project. He wrote like ten message and then deleted, which I never saw. I was done with him: sorry Margaret, I won't work with this architect. It's guaranteed failure. I wrote my father:
I faced a mini-crisis with Margaret because I got very bad vibes from the architect she wanted to work with, I originally wrote a long account of all the problems but then realized we ought to work this out and find an adequate replacement, which we are doing right now. In the end, we want to make the most out of the budget you are generously providing so I think this is a good thing.
Other than that, there's two topics I would like to ask you about, and which I feel unsure about:
The humongous eucalyptus in the middle of the house. I feel this threatens the house in the long run. I would rather have it completely removed, but then realized you probably made your research when you built your own house and I would like your input on this.
Margaret wants to rush into the project, I feel like this is because she feels things are aligned right now (budgets and wills) and she wants to rent it out asap, but I would rather plan it more carefully to get more out of the budget. I'd ask from you to earmark this money at least one month and give her reassurance it won't fall through, it's better to execute on a good plan than to rush into a crappy plan.
I'm attaching the budget by the architect, which I thought was affordable but hastily done, when inspected closely you'll find a lot of rookie gaps, just in case you're curious. Hugs.
My father answered:
I'm glad you're taking part in this Mark. Don't worry about the budget; the funds will be available whenever you're ready to proceed. I do think it wise to remove the eucalyptus, given its size and inclination. A substantial part of it will need to come down on the neighbor's property, so Margaret will need to reach an agreement with them. It could be lopped off at half its height, but I think the space can be put to better use if it is removed completely. Whatever you decide, I will cover that cost too.
My mother and my sister left for Barcelona. My original plan was to go with them, but we're stretched thin at work, and I had committed to releasing our new version of docs on Friday. I said to them: let me release this project, then I will take my days off to be with you. My sister is leaving on Tuesday, but my mother is staying an entire month. I know I ought to spend as much time as possible with them, at least with my sister I've enjoyed a couple of yoga practices. It is when we meet in activity that we are most congenial to each other. She remarks that I don't talk much, but I find it difficult to relate to her in conversation. It's easier after a couple of drinks. Behind this emotional weariness I know my position is unreasonable, that I should be more loving and accepting. I guess this is pretty normal given that some families have a lot of trouble spending time together. It takes me some time to progress through my despair into acceptance and accounting for all of our shortcomings. I see how being unable to depend on my family has made me independent to a fault, and it's difficult to foster interdependence. A task for spiritual and psychological growth.