I'm sitting in the waiting room of a medical facility. I'm on the waitlist of a clinical study. If I get in the study, they will pay me around $4,500 CAD for staying four nights per week during four weeks in order to observe what happens to me when I take Naproxen combined with Paracetamol. They will give me a single dose, and draw blood from my arms several times during the day.

The formulation of Paracetamol with Naproxen does not exist in Canada, so, in order to sell it here it's required to be tested on healthy volunteers. I hope to be one of those healthy volunteers. The main reason I'm doing this is money. The study is straightforward and quite frankly zero-risk for me. Secondary is the fact that I will be able to sit down and work on the computer for a couple of days per week.

I'm not allowed to exercise during my internment period. I'm almost glad: I've been using my body to work doing DoorDash. I've biked around eight hours per day the last few days. Yesterday I deliberately set apart as a Sabbatical day, and even though the app was trying to lure me to work during Labour day, I set my intentions firm, went to yoga, to the pool, and bought a ticket for Piknic Electronik.

My physical exhaustion made me struggle through yoga. Instead of practicing my dives at the pool, I napped. I suffered biking over the Jacques Cartier bridge to reach the island where the electronic music festival took place, and when I arrived I could barely dance. I left soon after I arrived.

I yearned to work a physical job, but now that I have it, I notice it ruins my physical hobbies. The bright side of this coin is that I feel very eager to come back to using my mind to work. I thought I wanted a physical job but now that I have it I see my hobbies have become more intellectual.

I'm reading Les Miserables by Victor Hugo with a hunger and attention I had not experienced in a very long time. It is a great pleasure to be able to focus for such long periods. It is because my mind is relaxed and springy, the opposite of my body which is wasted.

Will I ever be able to find balance? It doesn't matter, I'm not directing these movements, life is living through me, and I only notice.