I'm sitting at a café near work at 7:30am. I went to yoga earlier for an early class, but realized I had left my shorts back at home while I was in the dressing room. The building at the office where I work opens its doors at 8am, so I am here writing for the first time after a modicum hiatus.
There is no particular reason for my hiatus, perhaps because nothing exceptional has happened, but I also know that the exceptional-ness of anything has to do with our own capacity for surprise and wonder, which in the state I am is greatly diminished. Yet, when I go back to what I have written, I never regret writing boring entries, it's the gaps in writing that I regret the most.
If I had to register anything for myself of the future, I'd write about the explorations within my body, specifically the hips. I'm practicing moving them in all directions, at first they were crunchy and would pop occasionally, this caused a certain satisfaction, not unlike cracking other parts of your body, but when this release happens in the hips it feels sexual and quite pleasant.
This has led me to vigorously shake and move my hips, perhaps the last part of my body that is still unexplored. I feel my range of motion increasing by the day though pops and crunches are diminishing. I'm also dealing with the sexual energies being released by these actions. I need to add a parenthesis: we should not take this literally, new age lingo is an interface to deal with sensations within your body. We need a metaphor to explain what is happening within, as the body has a language of its own and to translate it into writing requires a bit of poetics.
Sensations that arise as you move your hips (I have now come to the office and nobody has arrived, so I will move my hips while seated as to describe the sensations, and I hope that if anybody is reading me may accompany with my bodily movements). As you tilt your hips forward and backward your lower back accompanies in the opposite direction. It is possible to keep the lower back static, though the range of motion will be reduced to a fraction of what you can reach through lower back engagement.
Is there any pain at the end of your range of motion? I can tilt my pelvis forward without and pain, but tilting it backward (sticking out the butt) will produce a slight, not unpleasant pain, but my back must work to keep itself in this position, as the natural tendency is to curve the lower back when we sit down.
I just changed my seat for a pair of puffs that I use to sit down when I feel I'm slouching. They allow me to mount, a bit as if it were a horse, I guess (because I've never mounted a horse). This allows me to align my shoulders, spine and hips on the same line, having gravity be the aligner of this asana.
The sensation from the base of the spine is subtle but clear: flowing waves of sexual energy reaching downward through my legs, up to where my ribs meet. To me it feels slightly unsetting, a primal urge wishing to be satisfied. It is sometimes said this energy can be transmuted into non-sexual focus and creativity, though the route eludes me, I find these sensations detrimental to focus, and I wonder if it's because I'm lacking training or because my sources are as well informed as medieval alchemists.
My first co-worker has arrived. I will not be able to register hip movements anymore, and I should get started with work. Let us conclude this entry by stating the intention of exploring more of my body in this way.