I'm currently hosting Maria, a 27 year old couchsurfer from Brazil who is just starting a travelling tour through Europe and then Asia. She's super chill and a pleasant person all around. She's a person attuned to nature and exchanging stories about it made me yearn for a time when I had a more intimate relationship to it.
Goethe's Nature comes to mind:
She brings forth eternally new forms; what exists has never been before; what has been never comes again—everything is new, and yet forever ancient. We live in her midst, yet remain strangers to her. She speaks to us unceasingly, yet never reveals her secret. We act upon her without end, yet we hold no sway over her. She seems to invest everything in individuality, yet has no use for individuals. She is ever building and ever destroying; her forges are inaccessible. She lives through her children—so where is the mother?
I no longer distrust myself hosting young women. If I was sufficiently attracted to her, I think I'd be able to let her know without it being awkward or uncomfortable. In general I feel I should trust myself more, I worry about things that were never a problem.
Coming back to work and routine has also been pleasant. I hadn't seen the guys in two weeks (non-overlapping vacations) and we were mutually happy to see each other. If we were dogs we would have been wagging our tails and sniffing our arses.
I'm glad I came back on Saturday, that way I could rest most of Sunday (except for a handstand workshop which I attended) and have a good first day at work.
I'll start interacting more with the people whose content I read regularly. When I've finished setting up the infrastructure to do this easily I'll announce it. I'm looking forward to participate in conversation with others, rather than perpetually be writing into the void. I have some long email threads with friends from decades ago, I debate if those belong on the internet with some redaction. I'll cross that bridge when I get there.