I'm currently on a flight to Berlin. What begun as a romance on the camino prospered into something which doesn't have a name yet, and I could just not leave Europe without honoring the heart. It's strange to write about it so openly, but I guess that into my future logs I'd like to feel comfortable expressing my geographical and sentimental situation and it's better to be upfront.
Before leaving I was able to get my MacBook Pro repaired, or I should say replaced, because the technician transplanted the screen and the hard drive to a used MacBook of the same model. Or so he said, because the "about this mac" dialog informed me it was a 2013 model, while mine was a 2015. Apparently, in this period Moore's law froze, because the specs were very similar. He made me a discount and now I have the deceased body of my 2015 MacBook and the 2013 replacement.
To this trip I brought my 2011 MacBook Air, which is a much better travel computer, and I wouldn't mind if anything happens to it. I've been having a string of bad luck with things that I touch, it feels like being an anti-midas. Stomach hands, we say in Mexico. Everything you touch turns into shit. I borrowed a bike, the bike's pedals went awry. I took it to the repair shop, then a pedal fell off.
It's interesting to note what happens when a string of events starts going wrong. The spiritual feeling is that one is cursed, and if the nature of the events are related, the rational mind will say it's a random event where the mind is seeing a pattern, but it's worth deeper consideration.
Do you know somebody who is accident prone? Would you say it's purely bad luck, or there is something in their character of way of moving that would make them more likely to get into an accident? Some people acknowledge their clumsiness, but others completely fail to see they put themselves in the way of danger.
Other people seem to fall victim of unhealthy psychological patterns: all their romantic partners have cheat on them, or they have the same kind of conflict in every workplace they've been, or they get into abusive relationships. Often times it's obvious to the outside observer, but when suggested the cursed person will vehemently deny any wrongdoing. And to make matters even more difficult, upon certain type of events it's taboo to suggest that the victim may change something in his or her behavior so that they are better able to deal with a shitty world.
As I come back to my own unhealthy pattern, a sudden stomach hands syndrome, I notice that due to my economic constraints I've been ignoring problems. My MacBook Pro was exhibiting strange behaviors while connected to the charger (static noise and vibrations if you passed your fingers though the surface) but I chose to ignore it in the same way a driver ignores a noise in the car because they can't afford to take it to the mechanic. In the case of the bike pedals, they felt strange to my feet but I didn't have the tools to adjust them, and I used it until it ate the thread, resulting in a more expensive repair. The rest of things seem to unrelated, the pedal fell off because the people at the shop hadn't adjusted it correctly, but then the mind thinks "Oh, it's that everything I touch turns into shit". The spirit becomes sick and soon enough it seems that you are at fault if the plane has an accident while landing.
We're about to arrive to Berlin. If I get to publish this, I will declare myself cured from stomach hands syndrome.