Yesterday, after yoga class, I went to the volleyball courts and inquired about beginner lessons. They will start in a month. I watched some people play, trying to understand not only the rules but the strategy to win a game.
One of the volleyball courts was occupied by a group of super attractive teens in tight shorts and small crop tops. This court I avoided because I couldn't help but observe the bodies and not the game. A group of men, ball park my age, congregated around the court, passed around some beers, and appreciated "the game".
Often writing about the appreciation of female beauty, I find it disingenuous to criticize these men. Yet, felt from the perspective of the players, to have a group of 5 or 6 men around the age of your father staring at your body and not at the ball must be an unpleasant experience.
I once read a comment from a woman online which rang exceptionally true "I want my beauty to be appreciated, not to be sexualized". Beauty should bring a face of happy surprise, like when you reach the summit of a hill and appreciate a beautiful landscape. Human beauty is natural beauty, and it arises the same sensations in us as the flowers, the mountains, the sea, waterfalls, majestic animals and all the wonders that cover this earth.
It is not that sexualized looks are negative per se, there's a place for them in our repertoire of expression. In latin culture, it is acceptable to appreciate in this way a woman who is dancing suggestively. Provoking and being provoked is a game we play on purpose in a specific context, but playing volleyball is not one of them.
After a while, the game I was watching finished, as did the next door court, and the teens dispersed. I saw the sun coming down and I thought a great place to catch the sunset would be Beaver Lake in Mt. Royal. I then hiked up, up, up.
These days have been magical, I don't want them to end. But I also dislike the sensation of not wanting something to end, it is a distraction from the present moment. It is mourning before death. Enjoy what you have, make the most out of each day.