I saw a bit too many videos on body language. I had avoided watching them because I found the whole situation silly, body language follows the inner feeling and any attempt at controlling it results in the stiffening of expression, because one is attempting to conceal what one truly feels, and the result is robotic (Mark Zuckerberg-like).

However, it did show me I’m not bad at reading body language. The person who was doing to reading was victim of overinterpretation of signs. It is human to project what one sees and feels unto what one is interpreting, and thus it was evident that her background and her personal opinions were being projected unto the things that she analyzed. Still, I picked up some things: I’m terrible at concealing anything, that most of charm has to do with the ability to be relaxed in interpersonal interaction, and that I’m quite decent at reading body language. But it does not come in a verbal way, I just sense it, and that perhaps the reason I read anxiety when I come to the deep topics is because people see at the darkness with fear.

In this aspect, it is perhaps better that I write about it. It is not “come with me into this zone of darkness”, it is “this is what the zone of darkness looks like”. And as I’ve read the stuff I’ve writeen in the last few days, it is seen that the first=person perspective is completeley egocentric, I must come to identify with all of humanity. My perspective is integral.

I also ccame to see that the videos I took at myself indeed areuseful. I could identify my own states ofmind, to see my own rollercoaster, and also detect that when I most feel insecure about myself, more I wish to come back to Mehtod of Acton as a design shop rather than the virtuegraph. And I also see that the virtuegraph indeed helps me grow. And thus I need to come back on track and make my virtuegraph. This is the decision I take.