On our way from Monreal to Puente la Reina I asked one of my friends if she was carrying anything special she wanted to "recharge" on the camino. I borrowed this term from a girl with whom I walked five years ago who carried a staff which was useless on the Catalán way, as the landscape is flat and she had no infirmity. When I questioned the usefulness of her staff she said it wasn't about the utility, it was the fact that some items seem to gain "energy" if you carry them on the camino.
I initially thought I wasn't carrying anything to recharge, but as the walk itself has shaped the purpose of this camino, I realized I had changed my backpack when I went back to Barcelona after my false start in order to bring my MacBook, which I literally paid in blood, and I've been carrying this backpack on my head as a way to alleviate my shoulders. My computer and my spirit are both ready to do some creative work.
My friend said she wasn't carrying something to recharge, but something to leave behind. It was a rock that represents something intimate which I will not relate here. But then she thought about it better, she was carrying other rocks which were being charged in order to give away to other people. She offered one to me and I enthusiastically accepted. She passed me a bag which contained perhaps a dozen of pebbles. Each one of them had a word written on it, in Dutch.
I wondered if I should look through them to choose what most resonated with me, or if I should stick my fingers in the small bag to pick one out at random. I was indecisive, trying to rely on my gut feeling to tell me what to do, when accidentally one of the pebbles fell out of the bag. Then I knew I had no choice, whatever had fallen out of the bag was for me.
After a couple of seconds trying to distinguish the pebble among the gravel on the road, I found my pebble. It read Stilte, silence in Dutch.
I was ecstatic. This will accompany me on the next stage of this spiritual journey. Thank you Merel.