I wanted to record myself doing some of the autistic stuff I do when I'm high. Here I am playing with the arch of my back. I was wondering if it was as visible as it's feel-able, but its not. I would have to narrate what I'm doing with my body so that this would be useful to other people. I'm almost sure I can correct the scoliosis curvature of my spine but I must demonstrate it visually. Back in Mexico I have x-rays and I'm pretty sure new ones would make a striking difference.
My body is super strange. In my subjective experience, I expend zero effort towards building or maintaining my body. I stretch to relax, I exercise to keep an elevated mood. I eat healthy because I like to eat abundantly. My body serves me well in my daily life. I enjoy being inside of it. I sometimes yearn to share how it feels with another person, but somehow this never materializes. I don't understand why I am an incel, or why I have been an incel for most of the past ten years. Well, actually I do understand, I'm just surprised my psychological impediment is greater than my physical appeal.