Walked: 22.3 Km
Today I had decided to take the train back to Barcelona to drop off my yoga mat and my hammock, as the added weight is proving very cumbersome without justifying its value in weight.
Part of the frustration came from wandering accidentally into wilderness, when I finished walking a path along the spinal crest of a mountain, I met a road that tightly cornered its back spine.
I followed a dead end path at the bottom of the crest. The vertical jump was covered in fenced wire as to protect rocks from falling. I considered it too foolish to attempt climbing down a vertical fence with such an amount of weight on my back.
So I climbed back up and tried another path. It led me to a similar dichotomy: I could clear a 2m jump, but down there were moreras, blackberry bushes full of thorns.
I went back up once again. I tried the other side of the crest. I was met with resistance from nature, but I did not want to understand: where there is no path, it is costly to enter.
In the end, it was decided for me: my hammock fell from my backpack and landed in a non-ideal spot. I had to climb down and deal with a great deal of moreras, which scratched my legs. I will spare the reader with the details of my ordeal, suffice to say it was heroic effort at a premature stage of my development, something I didn’t need at this time.
As I write this, I realise bailing out is premature, because it arises out of a single frustrating event. It’s been a very hot and uncomfortable walk yesterday. In the words of St. Ignatius, who lay his arms to the Virgin of Montserrat in order to consecrate himself to spiritual life:
En tiempo de desolación nunca hacer mudanza; mas estar firme y constante en los propósitos y determinación en que se estaba el día antecedente a tal desolación, o en la determinación en que se estaba en la antecedente consolación.
What I now understand is this: I must persist, but also remove baggage. I will go to the mail office and send back all the weight that I can, so that my body enjoys its walks more.
I must also remove some spiritual baggage. I feel as if, at least in periods, I shall lead my struggles in private, while some things may emerge which I shall share as I feel comfortable.
Physical and spiritual weight removed, I shall move with more inner and outer freedom. Now I will text my roommate to let him know I’m not coming back, as I had told him.