Yesterday I went to the beach in the afternoon (having smoked weed). Then, coming back home, I walked the length of the Rambla from the glorieta de Colón to Plaza de Cataluña five times back and forth (a pedestrian street 1.2 Km long). These are autistic walks, though they are embodied.
When I came back home I seriously considered the idea of dropping the game to enter "rehab mode" where I have no responsibilities but to keep myself away from vice. I still think it's probably the most sane thing to do. The outcome of my current circumstance is an incomplete, shoddy game which will not lead to the professional self-esteem I'm searching. At the same time knocking off weed doesn't accomplish anything in itself. It doesn't even free attention for the game, on the contrary, a lot goes towards regaining existential homeostasis without this coping mechanism.
I will give it one more day to think about this.