I'm ill. I always find the state of illness interesting. It's most definitely an altered state of consciousness. I was biking back from work, and a van up ahead was moving at a leisurely pace. A car in front of me and myself were getting annoyed at "this asshole". Finally I was able to pass him. Then I thought "how strange, I never get mad at cars, I must be in a foul mood".
I will register what I feel at this very moment: a slight headache. My tinnitus is worse than usual. A slimy sensation on the soft part of my palate. It's puffy inside my mouth and sometimes it tastes salty. My neck feels tense, as do my shoulders. I sometimes feel as if my brain was trying to tune into reality, the tone of my tinnitus changes and I feel a distinct, slightly painful sensation in my skull.
I'm a little bit cold, but I don't bother on putting a sweater because my sensations change by the minute. I might have a hot flash at any time. Coughing is painful and unproductive, except for a rouge phlegm that comes out now and then. The phlegm that does come out is partially brown and very thick, almost like cartilage.
I told my girlfriend I am feeling fine and dandy today, she is in Peru, and she was being overwhelming in her concern, giving me all sorts of remedies which I will not take. I dislike being cared for when I'm sick. I'm a wild dog that prefers to crawl into a hole in the ground and either pass my sickness or die on that hole. I ignore why I feel so strongly about this, perhaps it's the foul mood, physical touch and concern only irritate me.
It started yesterday, at night it got bad. I had feverish dreams about breaking up with my girlfriend. In the morning I woke up as if I had been in a battle, my entire body aching. I told the guys at work I'd work from home, but I didn't work. I could only distract myself from what I was feeling.
At noon I felt better, and it was the farewell lunch for an intern who is moving on to another company. I caught up with them and they told me I looked terrible. I had lunch with the, then worked a bit in the afternoon, and before the end of the day I excused myself. I was feeling unwell again. I grabbed a city bike to get back home, and that's when I was annoyed at the van that was travelling too slow.